Joel's Birthday in Texas

I promise, we are ALIVE! Does anyone else feel like 2014 is just flying by? May cannot be half way over already. Life is busy, which is good but I need to be on top of my blogging.

Last month we visited Texas for Easter and Joel's 28th Birthday! Yes, we went to visit my (Brit's) family for Joel's birthday… because he's an amazing husband and spoils me. It was really a last minute trip. All my siblings were going to be home for a visit and I just could not stand knowing that I'd be the only one missing out on all the fun. So I got work off and Joel cleared his clinic schedule at school (even though finals were the next week) and we booked our tickets.

It was a short trip but it was fun! Any time all my family is under one roof things are bound to get "interesting" but taking the time for these visits is just what I need to rejuvenate myself. I absolutely love going home for visits. Being with family is the best type of vacation. We did not do anything exciting -- went out to eat, shopped, went to the zoo with our good friends, played with the nieces & nephews, had Easter festivities, and most importantly, CELEBRATED JOEL'S BIRTHDAY! Goodness, my man is getting OLD!!!

Here are the photos to commemorate our trip.

 Violet sporting her Bunny ears for Easter.

 Roran & Violet adoring Uncle Derek

 Grandma & Grandpa with all there grand babies.

(boy is it tricky getting a decent pictures w/ these little ones)

My sister, Karissa & her adorable family.

 Seria Grandkids - Violet, Roran & Jonah

 Grandma helping Roran & Gaelyn dye Easter eggs.

 Our Easter Baskets - a Seria family tradition is for the Easter Bunny to 

hide your baskets while you're asleep & then you have to try to find them.

 Candid shot with my beautiful niece & nephews.

At church for Easter Sunday with "our" babies

(nephews matching outfits courtesy of their favorite Aunt, Brittany)

 We also got to visit w/ Joel's sister, Liana & her cute family since they live in Dallas too.

(we met our niece, Juliette for the first time too)

 The water was FrEeZiNg -- but they just had to get their feet in.

Our cute nieces, Lucy & Lilly (Joel's side) and nephew, Roran (Brit's side) in the middle

 At the Dallas Zoo for Joel's Birthday.

Joel loves Miss Violet & her sweet blue eyes.

 The Zoo Crew -- our friend, Sheri & her 3 boys joined in on the fun.

 Joel will NOT like this picture, but I absolutely LOVE the way Roran is looking at him & has his hand delicately placed on his shoulder. PURE LOVE -- can you see it too?

 Jonah had a good grip on his Mommy's hair -- the aftermath was NOT pretty! haha!

But look how HAPPY he is. Totally worth it.

 Joel being a vessel of random facts, especially about reptiles -- these boys were LOVING IT! They kept saying, "Hey Joel, is this one poisonous?" 

(Joel educated them about this word that day.)

Birthday shot with my main man while at the zoo!

All in all, it was a simple and wonderful trip. I always love spending time with both Joel and my family. We do not need much but we need these fun little outings and trips with them and each other. Cannot wait to share these fun memories with our children some day. Hoping you all enjoy the little moments in life with those you love because that's what's truly important.

Open Adoption

Not to overload you all with two post literally right after one another, but I wanted to post strictly about Open Adoption. When Joel and I first considered adoption, we did NOT know anything about it, so the term "open adoption" honestly scared us a lot. We thought "no way could we do open adoption." Birth moms, before you stop reading…we've evolved and no longer think this way. So please, read on.

First, open adoption just means there is some form of contact with one or both birth parents. That could mean a letter and pictures once a year, to visits on a regular basis. Each adoption is different and it is up to the adoptive couple and birth parents to determine what their open adoption will be like. Each party has to be realistic and honest about what their wishes and expectations are.

Through being involved in an adoption support group, Families Supporting Adoption (FSA), I have gained so much knowledge and perspective about adoption that I would not have gained elsewhere. I have been able to talk to birth moms and many adoptive parents about their experiences. Each of their adoption stories is different and each of their relationships with their birth moms is different. So, I don't know what our adoption story/ family will end up looking like, but I know that since Joel and I are seeking an open adoption and wanting the birth parents to be a part of our family as well, we will hopefully have a great relationship and establish our own open adoption story.

Another thing I don't think people who have not gone through adoption realize is that it is a hard process with everyone involved. Each party has difficulties and struggles before them through this process, but it does not mean because we all struggle, we know what the other is going through. Just because I struggle with infertility, does not mean I understand what a birth mom considering adoption feels. I cannot even comprehend how difficult of a decision it is to place your child for adoption. It is the most selfless thing a person can do to place their child for adoption.

So why is open adoption so scary to people? What is it that we are all afraid of? This is something Joel and I have also thought about. It is scary because we cannot know the other person's real intent. As a hopeful adoptive parent, what are some of my fears?

Adoptive Couple's Fears:
-Birth parents change their mind about placing their child for adoption
-Child will be upset that they are adopted
-Having a child placed with us & then taken away
-How much/ little involvement the birth parents have with our family

Birth Parent's Fears:
***I do not pretend to know their fears, but if I got pregnant when I was younger and unmarried, these might have been some of mine.
-Never see my child after they're adopted
-Adoptive parents saying they want an open adoption & then once I place my child with them they disappear/ no contact with me
-Did I place my child with the right couple?
-How will my child turn out and will I ever know?

These are all understandable fears from both parties. From the receiving end of adoption/ adoptive parent  side, I can tell you that I am not that fearful of those things anymore. Yes, they all could happen, but I truly am seeking an open adoption with our birth parents because I want to eliminate those fears they could have too. I want them to know that once they place their child with us, they are also becoming a part of our family and I will love them forever. I want them to have contact with us and their child. I want them to see how they grow up and what they turn out to be.

I also want to be able to talk to our birth parents so that when I'm raising my child, if they have questions about "why was I placed for adoption", "do I look like my mom or dad", "what made them pick you to be my parents?" I will be able to say, "That's a great questions, lets call them and you can ask them." If my child ever has health problems, I want to be able to call their birth parents and find out if its something that runs in their family. I also want them to know where they came from, and feel and know the love their birth parents have for them.

There cannot be too many people that love my child. Open adoption is beneficial to all parties involved: birth parents, adoptive couple, and adopted child. I found this video online and it melted my heart. This is the beauty, and unfortunately the pain associated with adoption. But see, they ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Birth parents -- if you ever have any questions or fears, just know the only way you'll know how it'll turn out is if you ask the adoptive couple how they feel about certain things. Everyone has to be honest with one another and OPEN -- this is why they call it OPEN ADOPTION!

Journey to Adoption

I (Brittany) have been thinking a lot lately about adoption (SHOCKER!) and how Joel and I came to the point we are at now. Joel and I have been trying to have children since we've been married (5-1/2 years) and it was always in our plan to adopt children. We just figured we'd have 3-4 biological children and then adopt 1-2 children. I've always loved adoption and knew it would be part of my own family one day. So when Joel and I discovered we had infertility issues, we would continually go back and forth on when we should adopt. We'd have numerous conversations revolved around…"should we fill out our adoption paperwork or do another infertility procedure?"

This was a constant struggle for us to know what to do and when. We would do a few infertility procedures and then when those did not work we would then print out the initial adoption paperwork and complete it. However we never turned it in. Why? To this day I cannot tell you and neither can Joel. This happened again and again, going back and forth with treatments and then adoption paperwork. After we did IVF (in vitro fertilization) and that did not work for us either we mourned a day or two and then said, "Okay, let's commit and do it this time, let's pursue adoption." I have never felt such peace and comfort when we made that decision. I felt all the weight of infertility lifted off my shoulders and felt rejuvenated and hopeful about adoption providing us with our greatest desire…having children. So we're here now and could NOT be more thrilled about it. Our journey here has been worth it all because we feel such peace with our decision to START our family with adoption and know adoption will play an integral part of our family, both immediate and extended.

Now looking back at this on-going process, the only answer to "why we never turned in our adoption paperwork years ago", I truly believe because it was not the right TIME for us! It was not in our Heavenly Father's plan for us at that point. I don't know why that is, but I know there is a plan for each of us. I know that we're suppose to adopt now and I know that it's because there is a child on its way very soon that is suppose to be a part of OUR FAMILY! If Joel and I got pregnant during these past years or tried to adopt earlier, we might not get the child that we're suppose to call our son or daughter. I know we will be blessed to be parents and I have hope and pray that it will happen soon.

We anxiously look forward to the day we can become parents and know that dream will happen through the blessing and miracle of adoption. As my beautiful friend, Sarah who created this amazing blog for us put on our adoption pass along cards… 

ALREADY IN OUR HEARTS, SOMEDAY IN OUR ARMS! 

I could not have said it better myself. This is truly how we feel about our journey to become parents.

 Our Adoption Pass Along Card - Front

Our Adoption Pass Along Card - Back

Christmas in Texas

Due to the wonderful holiday season, I'm a little late in posting about our travels to Texas to see my (Brittany) family in Texas. First, it is always wonderful to get to go home and see my family, especially since we are all together ONLY once a year. Whenever Joel and I go to Texas, we drive. Yes, we drive the beautiful 16 hours down south. We do this for two reasons:

1) We bring our two pups with us because we don't want to pay for a kennel and we'd miss them (they shouldn't be alone on Christmas either). 

2) It is cheaper - do you know how much 2 tickets are plus fees to fly your dogs carry-on? A LOT!

Since my grandparents live in Michigan they usually meet us at our place in Ohio and then we all travel together. By decree of Joel and I, Gramsbear and Papou are just passengers (they don't mind). They are wonderful travel companions and I love being able to just talk to them. I love having them tell me stories, even if I've heard a story 20 times, I still love hearing it again and again. I truly have the most amazing and interesting grandparents. I just soak in all the history they have to share with me about growing up in Germany and Greece and love their adorable accents. I never tire of learning from them and I aim to be just like my witty, spunky and brilliant Gramsbear (this is what we call my grandma in case you were wondering).

Almost there, but looking pretty haggard after the long drive.

We rented a minivan for the journey this year since we had 4 adults and 2 pups on the way down and then on the way back my brother joined us for a week visit. We were NOT about to squeeze 5 grown adults and 2 dogs in a Chevy Cruz...not gonna happen! Since I only had a week off work, we left right after work the Friday before Christmas, planning on stopping to sleep half way through. Well my excitement and persuasive abilities helped me convince Joel we should just drive straight through the night, so that is just what we did. We arrived at 10:00 am the next morning and I don't regret getting the extra 8 hours with my family.

So on to the fun stuff... Christmas with my family is just like any other visit we take there, except my mom has the house decorated to perfection and it makes me feel like a kid again. Since I was 7-8 I have put together the Seria Family Christmas Eve Program. It mainly consists of my Dad reading the story of Christ's birth from the Bible, my Mom reciting (from memory) The Night Before Christmas, a special musical number from my sister, Amanda, etc. There are traditions that I just cannot let die no matter how old I get. I know my siblings and their spouses wish I would though. Well guys - TOO BAD...it's never going to happen! I was super excited to bring back the live Nativity this year since we have enough grandkids in the family now to do it. 

Our very impromptu Nativity: Roran as Joseph, Gaelyn as Mary, Jonah as Baby Jesus & 

Violet as the Angel (adults there for support & to keep babies from crying).

Other than fun Christmas festivities. We went to the park for a play date, saw a few movies, played lots of games (b/c that's what we love to do), visited Joel's sister, built gingerbread houses, looked at Christmas lights, laughed & ate until we hurt, and enjoyed snuggling babies (my absolute favorite thing in the world). Here are some pictures to highlight the trip.

Violet & Jonah

(not twins, but 2 weeks apart in age -- and they have different mothers)

We look good holding a baby... don't we?

The future Dr. Joel R. Skousen

(Joel's OSU themed blanket my Mom made for him)

Matching jammies

 Seria Family Photo 2013

We cannot be serious for too long!!!

We have to do one of these photos every year, much to Gramsbear's dismay.

 My siblings - we're pretty cool.

Roran had to help carry Uncle Derek - thanks bud.

My nieces, Lilly & Lucy (Joel's side) with their dad, Collin building a Graham Cracker House.

 Roran loves Superheros - Thor's my favorite too buddy! ;)

 Papou & Jonah

Home Sweet Home!

It was a great trip. My only regret is that it could not be longer and that I don't know the next time we'll all be together again (hopefully this summer... hint...hint)! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas too & that 2014 is treating you well thus far!

Welcome to Our Adoption Blog

Adoption is near and dear to our hearts and I truly know this is the path the Lord intends for Joel and I to start our family. This is an exciting and scary time for us. We know this journey will bring lots of ups and downs, just like our journey with infertility, but we are ready and prepared for it.

We are so excited to FINALLY have our adoption blog up and running. We hope this helps others get to know us more, especially birth moms. Our journey of adoption has been in the works for a while now and it is a relief to be approved to adopt and seek out expanding our family. Hence, the title of our blog - SKOUSEN EXPANSION PLAN. This blog is where we hope birth moms will be able to see into our daily lives more and not only feel that we would be excellent adoptive parents to their child, but also get a sense of what it would be like to be a part of our family. This blog will also be kept up as our family continues to expand, hopefully child after child.

There is a tab on our blog titled "KIND WORDS" - this is set up for our family and friends to write little thoughts about Joel and I individually, as a couple, and how we will be as parents. To me, if I were a birth mom considering adoption, I would like to know what other people think of the couple, rather than only hear the couples' opinion about themselves. Although we are pretty awesome, we hope others will take the opportunity to brag about us too. HINT HINT - so feel free to leave a "kind word" about us.